ALEXANDRA KALLOS

Fresh from the lovers bed, 
kisses over breakfast and
belated, chocolate Easter bunnies,
hurried on the bicycle

At the central junction, 
pausing for the red light,
death came like thundering,
a dry thud, black, from behind
 
Next thing, spiralling out of my body,
hovering over the scene of the crime,
chalk outline,
black and white horizontals

Suspended in the air, im aware,
like a kite
out of time.
All is quiet, still, not a sound, 
no slightest reverberations,
No pain,
but serene looking down on myself, 
the body down below, fraught, 
caught delicate in death, in the glaring light of day.
Velvet tricklings of blood in between the legs,
cradling the metal frame of the bike in a weird way

Me in the kite, in awe of a 360 degrees peripheral view,
lingering,
still hovering above the street, the scene of the lifeless body
detached as in total stillness, 
stasis,
suspended in time and space

Then, as an invisible cord snapped,
 i let go,
my last remaining connection to what was

The kite spirals upwards
for ever accelerating, higher and higher up into the air, 
the atmosphere, stratosphere

The transit that is death 
has come to offer me the highest heaven.
f a d e  t o  b l a c k

Re-awaken amongst the stars, delirious,
glorious ride through the celestial bodies,
feeling faintly familiar 
merging in and out of the shiny, starry firmament 

Galactic highways, swirling energies in fluorescent colors,
 morphing into kaleidoscopic universes,
collapsing in and onto themselves, ad infinitum


f a d e  t o  b l a c k


Then my spirit becomes aware of a realm 
of seemingly projected current lifetime scenes, 
and the ‘me’ splits into several aspects, 
as i smoothly switch between the different shards of my belated personality, 
absorbed in the innerstanding 
of my consciousness bi-location

 Fragments of the embodied life left behind,
‘i’ becomes the witnesser,
pulsating in and out of a holograph,
projected above a golden, flowing infinity sign,
viewing unremembered, scattered scenes
 from the existence so abruptly departed

Liberated from the experience of awareness beyond a body,
my soul instantly rejoices in the lightness of being,
 no name, no identity, nobody,
at once impregnated with ‘all-knowing’ and timelesness,
glimpsing all lives past and future in but a blink,
locking my soul into true, interdimensional, quantum sync


f a d e  t o  b l a c k

Awake anew, in indigo blue 
Hyperspace,
exhilarated into ever deepening experience of non-identity,
 non accumulated memory
but total knowing of Higher Self becoming instantly available,
magnatised into unity as absorbed singularity.
Floating in this cosmic ocean,
deeply immersed in the premordial, sonic beat 
of this Blue Ray hyper space,
that was to be my souls rebirth chamber,
 but not just… yet

 
f a d e  t o  b l a c k


My immortal, sparkly essence now slowly appearing to be swimming, 
like the sacred ovulum, into the wide opened mouth
of a glistening sea of silent euphoria…
The ultimate reunion into Oneness,
 bestowed as the Gift of gifts, 
my consciousness no longer adrift

DI-VI-NI-TY
ecstatic illumination,
pulsating god-particle,
on the beat of the in and out breath of the cosmic, Divine Mother,
eternally

“I” have arrived, I AM HOME!
Source permeating my entire being,
forever floating in the deepest womb of ecstatic bliss

Then, from afar there is this voice, it says, 
'you can't stay, you have to go back!"
What....heaven holds no place for me?

I plea, i bargain with the invisible, heavenly council,
screaming aloud without a sound, begging to let me stay!
It simply repeated its command
‘you can’t stay, you have to go back!’


a n d  a l l  f a d e d  b a c k  t o  b l a c k

Then, “I” am back in the broken body,
all white, clinical,
shiny metal protruding from the middle pelvic region,
intubations everywhere,
my mouth and heart
tied to a respirator machine,
still, the tiny life was hanging in the balance,
like in the egyptian underworld, 
where they weigh the heart against the feather...

Slowly becoming aware, 
laying cold, naked and immobile in the ICU 
that resembled the twilight zone, 
no notion of night or day, forever grey

It is there, i become the Snow White
in her casket,
waiting for the breath of life,
kissed back into her

Death had come like a dark cloak,
hurrying me up beyond the veil

There's a cold, dark spot on a street in Amsterdam
that bears my pain.
From that vortex of dark
i choose      
...           
Light.